Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
