i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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