saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
