i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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