my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
