just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
