i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize