Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize