He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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