tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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