Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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