Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
