Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize