I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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