it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
