I look better un-naked...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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