oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Enjoy the penises
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
