I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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