Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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