There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
