I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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