so that wasnt chicken after all
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am naked and annoyed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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