I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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