just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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