thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
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I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just pee around me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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