so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize