: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
