chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
