Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
