O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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