I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
