Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
