i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
