honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I want a musical about memes.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
