had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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