conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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