Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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