I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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