WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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