Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
