A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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