i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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