He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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