Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
