If i could tip my vagina, i would.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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