Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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