i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
