I looked at my own cervix.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
