batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
