Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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