did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
