So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
home. puking in laundry basket.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
