Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
