I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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