he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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