Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
