I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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