South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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