Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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