Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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