Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
