i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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