You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
