Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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