Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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