So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The adults are the big ones right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
